Tuesday 14 July 2015

Why Technology is making us more depressed??



“A little knowledge is a Dangerous thing” said a wise person once. But did they know excess knowledge can cause harm??? I fucking bet they didn’t have any idea!!

We are living in the age of Smart phones, Social media & what app and shit knows what new comes up after every few months. Our lives are now not more attached to anything but our smart phones. Any information is available within a touch. Going by the speed the technology is growing the day is not far when you will only need your smart phone. Not even wallet & keys to carry. Yeah it will…

Ok now let me come back to the topic, how this is causing us depression?? how?? I mean they were supposed to make our lives better?? Isn’t it?? But you are the same fucking person aren’t you? You have same fears, you have same amount of stress. Has anything changed at all??? Except the fact you have become more & more stressed and annoyed.

Let me tell you a story of simpler time. When I was Teenager, I had a crush. And those were the times when you had only one mobile phone in the entire family with a monthly prepaid recharge of around 500 to 1000 bucks (So using the Nokia Wala Phone was not an option); whenever I wished to speak to her I had to find a secret STD both where any of parents or padoos wali aunty uncle couldn’t catch me. That was a tiring task. Once I found it, I had to make an excuse at home to go out for play or group Study, just to make a call. Now, this is story of Karma, talking about the fruits of Karmas; it would take at least three attempts to speak to your girl you wish to speak coz most of the times her mom would pick up the phone and the worst part was the crush & her mom had similar voice. It was the fraction I had that you had to guess who has picked up the phone, mom or the crush? Using all probability and maths you can gather, you will see that it use to take a month of continues efforts for speaking 15 minutes to my crush. But hell yeah it was worth it.

After few months, we started seeing each other and broke up a little while after that. I did my graduation and post Graduation, in between we connected again via Social networking site call Facebook. She completed her studies and was looking for job. I was cool with that and with no intentions of getting back together. Also I didn’t find her worthy enough; may be because she grew up to be super dumb and really I didn’t see any future with such a low IQ lady.

But then some really weird shit happened, she was engaged to a The “N”, The “R”, The “I” , NRI, who works for Giant IT firm in Germany or Spain I don’t remember. Well all I thought was, lucky her. I moved on to focus at my struggle for a great career ahead, which is by the way is still going on (and I don’t think so will end for another century). Meanwhile she uploaded her engagement ceremony album, she was looking gorgeous and everyone was happy.

Now that’s when the problem started, she would upload every pic now and then. There were pre engagement snaps and after engagement, her mother-in-laws snap, fiancée uske Mama, chahcha, tao, behen, bhai Lavada-Lasaann and many more… this was just a beginning. Various wedding ceremonies, wedding after wedding, reception that just went for at least 3 weeks; and after that the HONEYMOON ALBUMS!! Behenchod Gayi 15 din k liye thi aur photos 7 mahine tak upload karti rahi !! Kabhi kabhi toh lagta tha sirf pics kheechne k liye hi honeymoon pe gayi thi aur kuch kiya hi nahi hai ..


Now when the honeymoon period ends, the household chores pic starts.. made aalo ka sabji for hubby, eating breakfast with best hubby (her other husbands might be feeling left out by this post), pehla karvachauth, pehla yeh – pehle woh!!  And by the time this ends they go on second holiday. BEHENCHOD PHIR WAHI RAMAYAN SHURU!!
See honestly speaking I wish a very happy life for her, but that doesn’t mean that bitch will post some shit each and every day how happy she is on my mobile screen.

In simpler times, all I needed to know was she was ok that would make my day. But now, I know she is OK, her husband is ok, her in-laws are happy (and they pretend to be a family from Suraj Barjatiya’s Movies), her dog & her neighbors, her Saharanpur wali buya and their family, she had upma at breakpast and Pao bhaji at night, how she is having a bad hair day & how she is cuddling the little birdy she found on terrace with ‘AWWWWWWWWWWWKHHHHHHHHHHHH” on the post!!
I hope you have understood what my point is. We all are personally struggling with our life and waiting for our moment of glory and love; and instead we are bombarded by annoying and things which we don’t need. This is filling up the Hard disk inside our brains and we don’t know how to keep ourselves focus on what we want in life. Sometime knowing and wasting your thoughts on the things that not even require our fucks takes a lot of energy and time.

We need a filter to keep calm and be happy for what we are, not what we could have been. Unfollow and unsubscribe to all the bullshit that is stopping you from being happy!!

Take care!!

Monday 22 December 2014

Movie Review: PK


Starring  
Aamir Khan
Anushka Sharma
Sushant Singh Rajput
Boman Irani
Saurabh Shukla
Sanjay Dutt

Plot
Aamir Khan, (no real name but known as "PK") who is an alien with similar body structure as Human lands in place in Rajasthan, India. But his communicating device gets stolen & failing to connect to his spaceship he is stuck at Earth. The story revolves around his quest for stolen device. Learning from people around him that only "God" can solve his problem. PK is confused by the various religions and learns that it is still not easy.


Review
There are movies like "Kick","Happy New Year" and then we have PK. Beside entertainment, this movie has strong and powerful message. Aamir Khan is class apart!! All other Khans should learn... this is what I call a movie. This movie might be the best attempt to show that we all are equal after "Amar Akbar Anthony". In a era of terrorism, communal hatred and self- declared "Baba", this movie is a slap to their face. More than that it makes you think in the right direction and more logical sense. PK also shows whats the thought process inside the mind of an atheist. Please do watch it.

I have reduce one rating.... Because I would have been more excited If alien was a Female.. If you know what I mean.. 
#TharakiChokro

Sunday 23 November 2014

Special Review : Mahabharat Vs Mahabharat




MAIN HANTA HUN....

AUR AAJ 

MAIN AAP SABH KO

  DO MAHAAN GAATHAON KE BAARE MAIN APNE REVIEWS DUNGA..



In today’s review I have chosen to compare both adaptations of Epic Saga called MAHABHARAT. They were made in a gap of two and a half decades, so there are huge differences in both versions. Although there were few more adaptations, but I personally believe these two are best. We all obviously know what’s the story behind the Mahabharat War. So I will just skip that part. What I have decided to do is compare both the versions what was good, bad, what to expect and what not. I have shortly summarized it into 10 main points to keep it simple as possible.. 



AND HELLO!!! I  AM AN ATHEIST!! I AM WARNING YOU ALL!! 

IF YOU FEEL OFFENDED, THEN AWWWWWWW!!



1. मैं समय हूँ ( Main Samay Hun)

The biggest demotivating factor was there was no "Samay" in the latest version. He is the best Narrator of all time, in fact he himself is time. Lord Krishna himself is the narrator for the first fourty episodes and that lord enter in the story ending his narration part.



2. Wrong Casting

 The former version's casting was done focusing more on their acting abilities and personalities. But the later one's was solely based on looks. The complex characters of Pandavas, Kauravas and all other Hastinapurians were looking fabulous only till the moment they didn't open their mouth. Only few characters like Lord Krishna & Shakuni were beautifully portrayed rest were just lukewarm.









3. No Importance to Ved Vyaas

Star Plus's writers have hardly mentioned Ved Vyaas in total of 267 episodes. Maha rishi can only be seen in 7-8 episodes barely. He was the one who gave birth to Dhritrashtra, Pandu & Vidur. More over he was the one who Cease-fired between Ashwathaama and Pandavas. Come Seriously he deserved more!!

  

4. Special effects

Obviously the special effects are way better than any other soaps on Televisions in India. See I dont expect much, but if you compare it with the craps of bollywood & daily soaps they simply awesome and are beautifully shown most of the time.








5. Background Score
 The music in the B R Chopra's version was composed by Late Rajamal Sahab & sung by Mahendra Kapoor. Star Plus didnt give much attention to background score. I mean most of the characters had their own signature music, but gave the impression of WWE entrance more. The lyrics in the older adaptation were focus to explain whats going on, so it had at least twenty seven different scores.




6. Weak Characters
 Latest adaptation's lead characters like Karna, Bheeshma, Vidur, Draupadi, Duryodhan & many more were pretty confused. The firmness which Mukesh Khanna, Puneet Issar had was missing. Every time some twist happens they dont know what to do, where to go. Then either Lord Krishna or Shakuni come to the rescue.




7. Story's Pace
Star Plus's writers had given too much importance to some events like Bheem and Hidimba's marital issues, this made first exile of Pandavas to last for about 25-30 episodes which was for a period of 5-6 years. But the exile which was post 'Cheer-Haran' took only 12 episodes to complete that in reality lasted for 12+1 years. The Story's pace is slow Pre-Cheeraharan and Super-fast Post- Cheerharan.




8. Wrong Facts
 This is something me and critics have hated the MOST. For the sake of TRP many facts and events had been twisted which were far far away from the actual events as per the book. For example, Duryodhan was always proud of his friend Karna, instead Star Plus chose to show that Duryodhan considered Karna as a traitor once he realizes the truth about him. Shame on you!!! Shame!! Shame!!
This is just one instant, there are many like this.


9. Vasudev, The SHOW STOPPER!!
 The feel good factor in the version was philosophies of Lord Krishna. Right from the 1st episode you will wait for him to enter the frame, then your eyes and ears will focus only on him nothing else that is guaranteed. But even the Lord himself didn't have the power of the writers. During the war of Kurukshetra, Lord would stop time before the death of any positive character from the sides of Kauravas and tell them the reason for their death. That seemed really Unnatural to me and to be honest it wasn't required. Even "Samay" was not happy with it.



10. TOO MUCH MASALA!!!!!

B R CHOPRA'S MAHABHARAT + BOLLYWOOD EMOTIONS + EKTA KAPOORISM + SPECIAL EFFECTS + 3 TONNES OF RED CHILLI POWDER + EVEREST LA TEEEKHALAL, KASHMIRILAL AUR KOOTILAL equals 

VOILA!!!! STAR PLUS'S MAHABHARAT !!!

 

And lastly we must not forget the fact that the junior artist used in both adaptations had same amount of enthusiasm!! 

 

By the way if you don't have so much of patience and  command over Hindi, you can watch Grant Morrison's version of Mahabharat.. This is pretty awesome!! But its pretty hard to understand whats going on if you dont know the background of the story, this is a non-linear adaptation of the same.



 

 

 

 

TOH AAJ KA REVIEW 

YAHIN SAMAPT HOTA HAI...

AGLE HAFTE PHIR MILENGE..

EK NAYI REVIEW K SAATH..

MAIN HANTA HUN..

Friday 14 November 2014

Series Review: Mirza Ghalib

Original Run
1988

Genre
Historical Drama, Biography 

Written and Directed By
Gulzar

Starring
Naseeruddin Shah, Tanvi Azmi, Neena Gupta

For those who dont know anything about Mirza Ghalib.
Mirza Asad-Ullah Khan Ghalib is the greatest Urdu Poet and one the greatest in any Indian language. He would rank perhaps among the great poets of the world. Ghalib has not only placed pride among them; his stature is growing every passing decade. He got less than his due in his own time. He was way ahead of his age, and his contemporaries failed to comprehend him fully. As with other great poets like Shakespeare, one discovers a new wealth of meaning, suiting their need and situation. Ghalib's writing are not only an authentic amount of his own age, his poetry transcends his times and situation. It is universal in its appeal.

In the series of 17 episodes, Gulzar sahab has beautifully portrayed the life of Mirza Ghalib starting from his teenage days in Agra to his entire life in Delhi. This is just a first half of the 1st episode, the plot suddenly jumps to his manhood days where he is totally in debts and unemployed. His friends often offer him help to lower burden from his shoulder, but Ghalib who has a high pride always refuses favors from them. Ghalib often spends his days gambling, drinking and expressing his views about everything in his own style. His life was filled with day to day struggle and he often expresses it is his poetry. 

I will not recommend this series for everyone because this is a series for a poet inside you. The DVDs of this whole series are available on Flipkart and Amazon.    









Thursday 6 November 2014

Movie Review: Gone Girl: Why Indian Government should make it Tax Free!!




Starring
Ben Affleck, Rosamund Pike, Neil Patrick Harris, Tyler Perry, Carrie Coon,Kim Dickens

Director By
David Fincher

Review
First of all apologies to all the fans to keep you waiting. "Gone Girl" describes the hidden secrets behind the modern marriages. On the occasion of his 5th anniversary, Nike Dunne (Ben Affleck) reports that his beautiful wife is missing. Nike's portrait of a worried husband begins to crumble when Police and media finds out lies about his unhappy married life and his wife. Soon he realizes that he might be charged for murder of his own wife. But thats not all, with small clues left behind, Nick finds out that he has been framed for murder by his own wife. There the moment when story takes a turn. In a surprise turn of events his wife Amy has been planning to plot a revenge against her husband from quite a long. She never wanted to stay with Nick, but to make him suffer for his deeds.

Movie is based on the novel with same title, its one of the most well adapted movie versions of any book. Moreover the movie leaves you shocked and your jaws are left open when you find out what a women can do if she isn't treated respectfully. A must for all the perverts and Machos in our gully mohallas who dont respect any women, especially their wife. Also all the ladies out there please do watch this movie to learns few basic emotional and powerful ways to dominate over your husband. If its possible I would love to file a PIL to make it TAX FREE!! #WomenEmpowerment

Hanta Singh's Rating   4/5

Sunday 2 November 2014

SRK Complex: Why its Hard to Date a SRKian Girl??

The "SRK" COMPLEX

Meaning 

- A female Homo-Sapient who is a die hard fan of Shahrukh Khan. She expects the same sort of romance from her partner. The complexity arrives when the Male Homo-Sapient's behavior and nature fall the below the quality standards set by  ISO:9001 certified womanizer Shahrukh Khan.


So the next mystery lies in the fact what makes SRK SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO ROMANTIC??


A Study was conducted by Hanta Singh's research team in 75 tier 1 & tier 2 cities. We asked the female Homo Sapiens residing across the nation asking different characteristic traits they expect from their male counterparts and what are the similarities between SRK's. The following were the main reason concluded through the data base.






1. He is funny, cute, chocolaty, macho, emotional and romantic at the same time!!



   Yes, SRK has this magical touch in him which he uses to amplify the emotions of Female Homo-Sapiens. The scientist have suggested that ideally should follow the pattern of Sine wave.

As suggested in the figure.

Now going by this theory SRK  manages the curve perfectly while others category Male often are way off the pattern. Male Homo-Sapiens have the following traits...






2. He respects her family!!

 Any Indian Female Homo-Sapient dreams of the Male counterpart giving absolute respect to the humans whos copulation has resulted in her birth.





3. He is also cute, lovely and an emotional father!!

Now for most of the male counterparts this remains an unexplored and often scary territory. But even here SRK has proven to be the best dad, being a single dad for a daughter is often the toughest job. This characteristic traits are often related to the factor of taking "family responsibilities" which a female says is a must in every man.   





4. With his romantic dialogue delivery, he can even make guys cry sometime.

Remember the scene from  Kal Ho Na Ho when SRK pretends to read from Saif Ali Khan's Dairy... Can you fucking do something like that???? TRUST ME .. DONT TRY THIS AT HOME!!






5. After all, He is the KING OF ROMANCE !!!

With his charm.. He is unbeatable in the field of romance.


So by now you must have realized, if you have a crush on a girl with "SRK" complex...you have accepted one of the biggest challenge humanity has ever faced..... All the best!!

But Hey!! dont worry... Hanta Singh is here to guide you!!!


 

 

DOs and DON'Ts to date an SRKian female:

1. DON'T ever fucking try to copy SRK!!

For her, there is only one SRK & that is definitely not you...

If you still do that... THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS....




DOs 

 Become such a charming personality, that she will compromise with you coz she cant have SRK!! Instead be this guy...








2. DON'T EVER say anything negative about SRK! THATS IT!!! Its over!!


      Because she will have this reaction ...
 DOs
If she ever mentions SRK... just use words like "hmmmmm", "OK", "WOW", "Oh Really!! "






3. DON'T try use SRK's dialogue in your talks!!

You expect it makes a lasting impression. But in reality you are received as lame & lack originality. After all, She is a SRK fan. His all dialogues run in her blood, in some exceptional cases, she can even remember SRK's dad dialogue. #TrueStory


DOs 
Refer all romantic dialogues from before SRK era. Also unnoticeable movies can work sometime. In some severe cases try poetry, but its a little risky coz dialogue delivery play an important part here. 








At last, I would like to say just be yourself and accept the fact that you can never take SRK's place in her mind!! But if she still loves you... Dude.. you are a Lucky Man!!!


 




Saturday 25 October 2014

Special Report : How People have reacted to "Happy New Year" Globally!!



The Movie starts with SRK saying "Yeh Kahani hai duniya ki sabse badi chori ki..."

Listening to this Gandhi Family reacted in following manner...
 
REALLY????


   LOL!!!


HAHA... YOU ARE FUNNY SRK!! XO XO!!




HMMMM... COMPETITION!!



I even heard that it was quite inspired from Ocean Series... So I asked Brad Pitt and George Clooney.
Here is what happened..

Hanta Singh : Hello Guys!!
Brad & Clooney : Hi Hanta!
Hanta : I hope you have seen HNY ?
Brad : *upset* yeah!!
Hanta: Ok!.. That was little unexpected... So how was it??
Clooney: Hey! Can you please SHUT THE FUCK UP!! Brad has been going through a lot lately.. recently married came back from honeymoon.. and then he saw HNY..
Hanta: Hmmmmm..... That Bad??
Clooney: Yeah.. Its a Fucking disgrace to cinema... you Indians are so good in maths and applying logic... HOW THE FUCK DO YOU EVEN THINK OF MAKING SUCH SENSELESS SHIT??






Barack Obama on HNY

Barack Obama's Face when he came out after watching HNY!!













He immediately arranged a press conference and declared a lifetime ban on Farah Khan for entering US!!
Barack Obama has declared HNY as more harmful than Ebola Virus!!


Sherlock on HNY

FARAH HAS LOWERED THE AVG. IQ OF INDIANS WITH THIS BULLSHIT MOVIE!!






Arvind Kejriwal on HNY

Mr. Arvind Kejriwal collapsed while seeing HNY... He was immediately rushed to hospital with the help of AAPtards and Police !!

My conversation with AK next day after the incident...

Hanta: Kejriwal ji how are you now??
AK: Main toh theek hun... Magar yeh sabh janta ko ullu baana rahe hai, sabh mile huye hai...
Hanta: Woh kaise??
AK: Ek toh itni wahiyaat movie bana di... Ek aam aadmi picture entertain hone k liye dekhta hai... Yeh sabh is desh ki aam janta kai paisa loot rahe hai!!
Hanta: Hmmmm...
AK: Aur upar se main ek aam aadmi ... itni lambi ladki kabhi dekhi hi nahi...
Hanta: ohh... kitni lambi thi??
ITNI!!!!



Also Sports personality Sarita Devi was found crying after watching HNY.. 
She yelled "Mere 500 Rs doob gaye!! Koi toh wapas dilla doh!"




With Such extreme reactions received, Prime Minister of India Shri Narendra Modi stated that India has faced calamities Kashmir floods & Hudhud... The Government is preparing itself for this disaster and appealed to citizens not to leave the brain at home while watching HNY and even suggested to not step out to any multiplexes near by..




Mr Narendra Modi surveying HNY affected areas...
Some other reactions

"Goddess Lakshmi must be feeling cheated by seeing how people asked for wealth in Diwali and now wasting it on movie like HNY." - Rest Hindu Gods

"Srk slapped my husband after a party. I slapped all srk fans by directing 'happy new year'. Hisaab barabar! " - Farah Khan




In the end what SRK said holds true coz they stole money from the pocket of every person who watched HNY... Isnt the biggest "chori" ??